he only constant is change. And ain't it a bitch? Just when you get used to the way things are, something comes along and messes up your tidy worldview. The truth of Heraclitus' observation has been driven home to me repeatedly in the past few...weeks? Months? Years? I suppose it was the recent election cycle in the U. S. that got me contemplating such things in stark relief. Looking back to the November when Barack Obama was first elected four years ago, I have to marvel at the transformations that have taken place in my life and in the world around me. Kids become adults in that time. Jobs go and then come and then go again. And the ultimate change of all makes its presence felt. Repeatedly. I live in a building with a number of retirees, and easily a half dozen people have passed away since I first moved in. I mention this because I lost my own mother in that time. And because a dear, dear friend lost her husband during the past four years, too. And a brand new acquaintance just told me the story of her own father's sudden diagnosis with cancer. Hale and hardy one day. Having to put his affairs in order just a month later. The only constant is change. And as used to it as we should be, it's still a bitch.
I was just having lunch with another dear, dear friend who herself discovered she had pancreatic cancer this past summer. Chemo seemed to go well, but now the tumor has reasserted itself and the doctor is speaking the word hospice. My friend is taking it as well as one can, I suppose. She spoke of being on the downward side of the arc, and I had to ask to make sure I understood the reference. Silly me. I was picturing her working through the Kübler-Ross stages of grief. Instead she was speaking of bigger issues. The big issue, in fact. And I reeled as it dawned on me that she was wrestling to embrace her own mortality. We all know how this life is going to end. And yet there's no easy way to prepare for it.
Fortunately, my dear, dear friend is walking that lonely road with her eyes open and her sense of humor intact. We went out for sushi, and after putting a heaping tablespoon of wasabi on the soy sauce in her dish, she began to sprinkle water on it, too. "It's to cut down on my sodium intake," she explained. Then she paused and looked at me as I caught myself on the verge of saying, "But why?", and laughed. (In actual fact, it helps keep down her water retention.) It was good that the topic wasn't one we had to tiptoe around. If anything I left that conversation feeling closer to her than before.
I know, too, that her journey is one I'll be making myself someday. And with that in mind I've been digging with gusto into lightening my footprint on the planet as I get older. I'm making space in my condo for someone whose also contemplating the days to come...and just how much stuff do we need to be happy people? When my mother passed away, she left behind a legacy of hoarded possessions. I can't do that to my kids. And that dear, dear friend who'll be sharing my space soon feels the same about the accumulations of a lifetime. So we're doing our best to let go of things that could weigh us down as the river of time pushes us forward into our own brave new world. The only constant is change, after all. You can try to stay put, but there's more to be gained (and enjoyed) by simply going with the flow.
Goodness, I've taken us all down a road that I hadn't really set out to travel! Change is indeed on my mind, and I suppose that I'm sorting through ways to talk about imminent changes in my own life. Thanks for your patience! I should have some good tales to tell before long. As we say in the radio biz, "Stay tuned." In the meantime, what say we look at some shoes?
Baretrap clogs, size 10, available through Etsy seller paranormalcoast
Panelli clogs, size 7, available through Etsy seller nashyaa
Steve Madden clogs, size 7, available through Etsy seller marigold25
Steve Madden clogs, size 8, available through Etsy seller AmandelOe
Michael Kors clogs, size 6, available through Etsy seller papersunvintage
Kayalusi platform sandals, size 7, available through Etsy seller marigold25
Blue metallic wooden shoes, possibly size 9, available through Etsy seller KimmysKicks
[On my feet as I blog: my Convictions from John Fluevog. Best. Shoes. Evah! (Which, admittedly, is what I would tell you about a dozen pairs I own.]