Another Cautionary Tale from the Edge

The edge of sizes, that is. It's one thing to love shoes when you wear size 7 or a size 8 and can walk into any store on the planet and be pretty sure they'll have something that will accommodate your feet. But when you've been gifted with a place at the tall end of the spectrum, selection is often limited. And so is a successful fit.

But let's go back to the beginning of the story.

 

 

When the holiday sales kick in, I have about as much willpower as a member of congress faced with voting for the good of the country over voting along party lines. So when I saw the Space sandal from Minimarket marked down to 60% off on THE OUTNET (60% off!!!), I took a look at the available sizes, saw that an 11 was on the list, waited about 350 milliseconds, then lunged at the track pad on my laptop to place my order.

I had featured this unique scuptural wedge sandal before on ECHID, not just once, but twice. It's just plain lovely to look at. A graceful sweep of natural wood accented by supple leather that wraps the ankle in a distinctive embrace. And with that underslung slope of the heel at the rear of the shoe, the wearer has the opportunity to dazzle onlookers with the ability to stand upright and move through the world with poise and confidence. "How?", they'll ask themselves. But you as an experienced wearer of significant wood heels will know that it's just like getting to Carnegie Hall. All it takes is practice. 

 

 

In actuality, the price of admission was keeping me out in front with my nose pressed up against the glass. Originally the Space sandal was selling for $465.00. Now I'm not opposed to paying that for a pair of shoes. But I'm not sure I've found those shoes yet. Recently, a good clog loving friend and I were comparing notes on shoes (what a surprising topic), and we came up with our own rating system. Initially, we proposed a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 represented a pair of Crocs and 10 was a favorite pair we owned (such as the John Fluevog Conviction clog boot in her case or the Koolaburra Nadine in mine), but then we recognized that these choices limited the range of our ability to pass judgment. Crocs were then accorded a 2 and the lowliest rank was bestowed upon those styles which in our estimation represented the nadir of the footwear world. Flip-flops were her suggestion, but I chose to go with a pair of nautical themed skimmers. 

 

 

image obscured for your protection

 

At the other end of this hierarchy of footwear, we were initially tempted to place great shoes we have known and loved. But again sense and wisdom interposed and we were forced to recognize that perhaps our "favest" faves should only occupy the penultimate position. Why should a shoe that makes me rave "OMG! OMG! OMG!" repeatedly only be given a 9? It's simple. The tip-top of the chart must, of course, belong to that most wondrous of all possible shoes, the pair whose combination of platform, heel, leather, wood, studs, accents, comfort, visual appeal, and so forth cannot be improved upon in any way. This platonic ideal of the most sublime shoe evah exists at the level of a 10 as a beacon calling us forward daily as we scour the internet in search of just a glimpse of its inescapable, undeniable perfection. This imagined shoe...in all its "God, I've got to have it" loveliness...is worth $465.00 to me. 

But I haven't found it yet.

In the meantime, the Space sandal from Minimarket had descended from Olympus to be within the grasp of mere mortals such as myself. Poor, pitiable fool. For the hubris of reaching out to make it my own, I have been spurned by Dysproportia, goddess of fashion sizing. 

 

Quincy clog from Michael Kors, size 11

 

Square toed clog from Kenneth Cole, size 10

 

High heeled clog from Miu Miu, size 41

 

Space sandal from Minimarket, size 41

Ouch!

 

Alas, the sell line from the movie Alien comes to mind.

With Space, no one can hear you scream.

 

An area cat contemplates the injustice of the universe

 

Having said all that, it is a lovely shoe. The wood wedge has a satisfying heft to it. And though the sole looks as smooth and shiny as glass right out of the box, it is made of leather and should scuff up nicely to provide secure footing. Take advantage of THE OUTNET's sale pricing while supplies last. And remember, your mileage may vary.

 

 

____________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

____________________________________

 

 

[On my feet as I blog:  Storytime clog bootie from BC Footwear. My default footwear for this winter apparently. The weather doesn't demand it yet, but now that the solstice has come and gone, I guess I expect to fight my way through a snowbank wherever I go.]

 

Comments

[Melissa Krebs]

Oh no! I'm so sorry! How... insensible. Those remarkable sandals had such potential...

[Tea]

This is a hilarious post. I am sorry for your painful lemons, but at least the lemonade you're making out of them is very very funny.

[Lindsey Cochran]

Bless you! I was hoping someone would enjoy the humor!

Actually, I'm rather glad they didn't fit. I really didn't want to spend the extra money right now. But at the price, I knew I couldn't afford not to take a look.