Freaky Friday

The offbeat. The unusual. The extraordinary. Those are the qualities I usually look for in a pair of shoes. But I'm frequently surprised to discover that I, too, have my limits. Some shoes stray over the line and even I find myself thinking twice about adding them to my fashion arsenal. But please understand, this is not a post intended to deride or belittle these particular styles. There's nothing that disappoints me more than stumbling onto a blog that seems to exist solely to sneer at what its author considers laughable or excessive in the world of fashion. No, this post is only intended to present images of shoes worth admiring for their sheer audacity. No judgment is being passed. In fact, send me evidence that you've been able to work one of these looks on the street somewhere, and you'll certainly get a heartfelt "You go!" from me.

First out of the gate, this pair of clogs from Juicy Couture. There's so much about this style I would love piecemeal. Or in moderation. The livid color (Shrubby Green according to the listing on Zappos.com). The engraved logo on the heel. The basic clog construction. Personally, I'm not a fan of embroidery, but I recognize that's a purely subjective opinion. But the combination of all of the above hardly measures up to the brazen courage I would have to muster to wander about with the words "Juicy" shouting out to the world from the tops of my toes. Call me crazy, but if that's the message I truly wanted to convey, somehow I don't think these would be the shoesI'd choose to say it. Still, the manufacturer must know what they're doing. The clog is only left on Zappos in a single size. Somebody's obviously buying them.

 

 

This next shoe is being marketed as a clog, though it seems more clearly in the mule category. (I tend to think of clogs as chunky wooden shoes while mules are the lighter weight, closed toe, open back designs.) The international designers at Opening Ceremony are responsible for this eye catching variation. Look closely in the mouth of the shoe and you'll see the elastic band that holds the sole securely to your foot. The upper, on the other hand, is designed purely for show. And what a show it puts on very nearly turning your feet into a pair of hooves. 

 

 

  

Any Rolling Stones fans out there? This shoe should take you back to the inner sleeve photo from their 1981 album Tattoo You (which also turned up as the cover photo for the single release of "Start Me Up").

 

 

I suppose this next clog doesn't really belong on this post since it's not a shoe intended for wearing at all. At first glance it appears to be an especially angular take on the traditional Dutch wooden shoe. But then on closer inspection of the listing by eBay seller booybij, you read that the shoe is only 5" long. Funky and unusual as the whole look is (and I'm not above sporting a vintage pair if it works with the outfit), I have to say that this shoe is well out of reach for all of us sartorially. No matter. It's not the first time I've been thwarted by the unrelenting laws of physical limitations.

And finally, a shoe that has no real business being on this blog at all: the infamous Alexander McQueen armadillo boot. No, they're not clogs at all. But considering that many of our favorite styles are feats of architectural engineering not to be taken lightly, I believe these incredible designs deserve a nod. Partially in recognition of Mr. McQueen's untimely passing last week. But also because of the furor and fuss these platforms with the 7" heel have caused. When's the last time you can remember a pair of shoes caused such a ruckus simply by appearing in a fashion show? No small feat, to be sure. 

Suffice it to say, apart from the desire to include a photo or two of these incredible shoes on Every Clog Has Its Day, I also couldn't resist sharing some fun facts about them with you.

Photo from Vogue.co.uk
 

For instance, did you know...

...that only 21 pairs of the shoes exist?  Twenty of them appeared on the runway of McQueen's Spring 2010 runway show back in October plus one other pair.  (Source: TheDailyBeast.com)

...Lady Gaga (who else?) was the first celebrity to get her hands on the pair of these shoes. You can see her revel in them in her video for "Bad Romance." (Source: StyleHog.com)

...a typical pair of the boots measures 12" high from the tip of that slender, curving heel to the top of the zipper that fastens above your ankle.  (Source: Vogue.co.uk)

...even though they look perilously high, socialite fashion collector Daphne Guinness (yes, that Guinness family) who owns a pair and has been spotted wearing them in public has gone on record saying that "they're not that tall." As any true fan of heels knows, the height of the platform can make all the difference in a shoe's wearability. According to Ms. Guinness, "They've got a huge platform."  (Source: IrishCentral.com)

...what's more, Ms. Guinness accomplished her feat of taking these boots for a turn in public in spite of the fact that they were four sizes too large for her. Even so, she does insist they're surprisingly comfortable. "They look difficult, but they aren't." All I know is judging from the shots of her working these incredible boots, she looks like she's having a blast. (Source: TheDailyBeast.com)

Photo from The Huffington Post.

...not surprisingly, these works of fashion art are incredibly hard to come by. Apparently the construction of them involved the efforts of three different workshops. Portions were assembled in one location then shipped elsewhere for completion. The Alexander McQueen store has been inundated with requests for the less than two dozen that were finished. And those customers lucky enough to be allowed to make a purchase will have to be prepared to shell out anywhere from $3,900.00 to $10,000.00 a pair. (Source: TheDailyBeast.com)

...sad to say, there are no plans to put the style into general production. All we can do is wait for the Steve Madden knockoffs to arrive. Though considering that Mr. McQueen recently sued that shoemaker for infringing on another of his designs, we might have some time to wait. (Source: NYMag.com)

And finally, a little armchair detective work in an effort to figure out just how comfortable those armadillo boots truly are. At first glance many fashionistas have recoiled in horror from the impression that these shoes throw all your weight painfully forward on your toes like a torturous pair of ballet boots. As it turns out, this style is probably no worse than a pair of 3" pumps. Let's overlook for a moment the fact that the x-ray photo below comes from a Beautips.com article entitled "High heels torture" and marvel instead at the engineering genius of Mr. McQueen and his team of cobblers.

1. X-ray of foot in high heel pump
 

2. Alexander McQueen Armadillo Boot (note the faint seam of the footbed along the side)

3. Okay, maybe you had trouble spotting that internal seam from the outside. Does this help?
 
 

 4. A simple composite of the x-ray image over the Armadillo Boot. There. Now that doesn't hurt so much, does it?

 

 
 

Comments

[Tea]

Aside from the branding on the toe, I LOVE those green clogs! Thankfully, I'm being saved from spending another hundred-something dollars.

[Lindsey Cochran]

You know, I really should live by my self-imposed rule and never criticize a style! Someone may find it to be just the thing theyve been looking for! With the right outfit those clogs could provide an incredible finishing touch. I wish they were in your size and within your budget. Then you could send in a photo and I'd summon up a chorus of online appreciation.